


Say It

by outoftheashes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coda, Episode Tag, Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), Established Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Insecurity, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Pining, Polyamory, Post-Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), Season/Series 12, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:47:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10055297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outoftheashes/pseuds/outoftheashes
Summary: Sam hadn't said I love you back. Dean's awkward as hell with the word, he'd rather show how he feels than make it a huge declaration, but Sam? He has no good excuse.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlueNeutrino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueNeutrino/gifts), [rw_eaden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rw_eaden/gifts).



> My URL is samanddeaninpanties on Tumblr if you wanna chat!

_I love you. I love all of you._

Sam hadn't said I love you back. Dean's awkward as hell with the word, he'd rather show how he feels than make it a huge declaration, but Sam? He has no good excuse. 

_Just please… please, don’t make my last moments be spent watching you die._

Truth is, Sam's afraid. He was afraid in that moment when he was sure they'd actually lose him and he's afraid now that they're home. Afraid that the type of love he feels for Cas isn't reciprocated.

_Just run. Save yourselves. And I will hold Ramiel off as long as I can._

It’s all playing in his head on repeat, not just Cas’s heartfelt speech. He remembers the way Cas gripped his hand so tight when they helped him up. He thinks about Dean's hand on Cas’s back.

The ride home was full of Dean's shitty music and Sam unable to stop watching Cas from the corner of his eye. He was aching to wrap him up in a hug, offer any sort of comfort he could -

But it's so hard. Even though Cas had said the words, that he loves them and considers them family, there's that small voice in his head wondering if he should hold back and let Mom or Dean touch him instead.

“This isn't necessary,” Cas says, swallowed up in a blanket and a mug full of tea.

“We almost lost you,” Sam replies, voice barely above a whisper. “Dean always gets like this after a bad hunt. I know you don't need it - but let us take care of you for a change, huh?”  

Cas tilts his head as he regards Sam. It's making him jumpy - Cas wouldn't read his mind, but maybe his emotions are clear on his face. Maybe he's so raw he can't shove it all down.

They're at the table, Sam sitting much closer to Cas than he should be. His familiar scent washing over him.

He smells like home just like Dean does. Like _mine_. Family.

Dean's in mother hen mode, cooking all sorts of crap that he probably plans on stuffing down their throats. If Dean could hear this conversation Sam would be in so much trouble.

“You didn't say it.”

“W-what do you mean?” Sam asks, heart hammering.

He knows exactly what Cas means.

“I said I love you and you didn't say it in return. Why, Sam?”

“It's… Complicated,” Sam chokes out. “But we do, okay?”

“I didn't expect Dean to say it,” Cas admits, taking a sip of his tea. “But you? It surprised me when you didn't.”

“I fucked up. I'm really sorry.”

“Will you say it now?”

“I-I… I love you, Cas.”

Cas is still watching him intently, scaring the shit out of Sam. “Good. Will you sleep in bed with me tonight?”

“H-huh?”

“If you want to ‘take care of me’...” Cas says, pausing a few short moments. “Then laying in bed with you and Dean while you sleep is how I want to spend my night.”

“Jesus Christ.” Sam's chest is tightening and he thinks he might hyperventilate. “Dean! Need you in here, man!”

“Woah, Sammy. Where's the fire? I'm makin’ burgers, dude! With bacon,” Dean grumbles as he comes into view.

“Cas wants to lay in bed with us tonight,” Sam says bluntly.

Dean blanches. “Uh.” He looks panicked, like a trapped rabbit in the presence of a wolf. “You sure that's a good idea?”

“I know you and Sam have sex, Dean,” Cas says, stiffening in his seat. “Despite what you may think I'm not an idiot.”

“I never said you were! Wait, how the fuck would you know we -”

“I may have shown up a few times during. And it wasn't unpleasant.”

Dean looks as stunned as Sam feels.

“Are you fucking serious? And you never said anything? Why?” Dean demands.

“I didn't want to intrude.”

“I can believe that,” Sam says softly.

“Yeah, well I think it’s bullshit,” Dean growls.

“So. Can I join you in bed or not?”

“Yes,” Sam says, keeping his voice as calm as possible even though he’s terrified.

“Sure,” Dean agrees, although he doesn’t sound all that happy about it.

Cas smiles. “Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Sam and Cas curl up in Sam's bed and start watching Santa Clarita Diet as they wait for Dean to join them. He's not much for cuddling and seems pretty damn upset to top it all off so Sam has a feeling it might be awhile.

His thoughts are interrupted by Cas rubbing his thumb along Sam's knuckles.

Sam's breathes in sharply. “W-what's up?”  

“Will you and Dean be intimate tonight?”

Sam sputters. “U-uh. Cas, you're in bed with us, why would we -”

“What if I want you to?”

“Fuck, Cas. I-I don't know.”

Cas turns his head so his breath caresses Sam’s cheek and Sam chokes back a whine.

“Yes, you do.”

“I'm gonna leave that up to Dean,” Sam whispers. “He seems pissed at you, so he’ll probably say no.”

Cas nods, staring at him and staying _way_ too close.

 _You could leave,_ Sam reminds himself.

Yeah, he could. The problem is Cas’s attention is addicting as fuck and he doesn’t want to give it up just yet.

_Sooner or later Dean will show up and put the kibosh on this whole damn idea. Right? He’s not gonna say yes to this._

“Is there, um, something else you need to say?” Sam asks when Cas’s staring becomes too much.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Uh!” Sam chokes. “Not without Dean’s permission.”

“I wish he’d hurry up.”

“Me too.”

Sam sighs in relief when Cas turns his attention back to the screen.

Crisis averted.

_For now._

 

* * *

 

 

“Dude! The hell took you so long?” Sam asks when Dean appears in the doorway.

Dean takes in the sight on the bed, how close to Sam the angel is and a muscle in Dean’s jaw jerks.

“You guys don’t need me,” Dean says, being ridiculous. “I’ll go sleep somewhere else.”

“Dean. I want to be near _both_ of you,” Cas says, sitting up. “Don’t go.”

“I don’t understand you,” Dean says, shaking his head.

“I know. Now get over here, Dean,” Cas says.

“Please.” Sam reaches out a hand to his brother. “Please don’t go.”

“Goddammit, Sammy. Hate when you use the fucking puppy eyes,” Dean says, but he finally moves into the room and away from the doorway.

“Quit complaining and get in bed, dude,” Sam says with a laugh.

Dean pulls off his shirt and lays down on Cas’s other side. “This the Santa Clarita Diet? Hear it’s funny -”

“Dean. Can I kiss you and your brother?”

It’s almost comical how Dean’s body jerks and his head swings around, eyes wide.

“What the fuck has gotten into you, Cas?” He takes a moment to think it over and Sam’s sure he’ll say no. “Yes. Fucking do it already, you damn cocktease.”

_Wait, what?_

None of this makes sense, but Sam doesn’t really have a chance to dwell on it because Cas is taking Sam’s face in his hands and kissing him slow, long and deep. It’s enough to have Sam gasping for air by the time Cas pulls away, shakily bringing fingers up to touch his own lips. He tries to discreetly hide his erection, but Dean follows the movement and smirks.

“That just happened.”

“Yeah, it did. And hopefully, you don’t plan on hogging him because -”

Dean’s interrupted from saying anything else because Cas turns and kisses him, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't murder me! I tried to work in porn, I swear. But this seemed like a good place to end it.


End file.
